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The Whole Speckled Band Clusterf*ck
The continued adventures of Arabella Grimsbro, who is absolutely done putting up with your shit. This story takes place in between Futhermucking Classics book two (A. Grimsbro, Warlord of Mars) and book three (which I am still writing and haven’t announced a title for yet).
If you haven’t read the other Arabella books, though, it works as a pretty solid introduction to the series, and should give you a good idea of what they’re about: public domain classics, a ton of swearing, and one pissed-off 15-year-old girl who looks like she probably wants to punch you in the neck.
The "Wonderful" Wizard of Futhermucking Oz
Arabella Grimsbro is a 15-year-old girl with a mouth like a dock worker and an attitude to match. When she walks into Voyages Through Literature--a cheesy mall store promising virtual reality tours of public domain classics--the last thing she expects is to be whisked away to an actual, magical world.
To make things worse, this Oz is very different from the one she saw in a movie when she was little. Ferocious beasts with grizzly bear bodies and tiger heads? A town of creepy, porcelain dolls? The Tin Woodsman lying broken and battered at the bottom of a ditch? Arabella will need more than surliness and silver slippers to find the answers at the end of this rainbow--or even just survive the trip.
PARENTAL ADVISORY: F-bombs like crazy.